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Updated April 4th 2009
12.37
It seems like a very long time ago
I'll tell you this story just so you'll know
I was almost 38 you see
When something fantastic happened to me
I had another little boy
His dad and I we jumped for joy
There was no crying I was worried
Around the ward the nurses hurried
There must be a problem time slowly passed
I held my breath too scared to ask
They put him in an incubator
We got to see him much much later
We sat beside him many days
we sat and looked and we just prayed
our prayers were answered I'm glad to say
We've watched him growing day by day
He's 15 now nice in every way
He still has problems Oh! Yes he does
But he still means the world to us
HI! I hear you're 31 today
The years they have just rolled away
We're proud of all the things you've done
Until now since you were one
We never thought that you were densa
You've proved us right by joining mensa
You're choice of wife too was just great
You've got a smasher in our Kate
Our pleasures they're increasing daily
Since you've presented our wee Kayleigh
You stand out tall in any crowd
you're a son who's made us proud
You two cats have been around
Helped solve the problems I have found
I've turned around and there you are
From you I'm never very far
You helped me shed off pounds of fat
You really are two real Hip Cats
So with this poem I'd like to say
Thank you for each and every day
You've made them very special
I went out in my car today
It's where my troubles fade away
It's a shame so many flowers are dead
But the trees are shades of rusts and reds
The squirrels around the oak trees run
From little acorns they began
The worms beneath the earth they wriggle
And children playing in puddles giggle
I look to the right what do I see
Where children used to play with glee
There's hammers saws and drills that scream
In places that were calm and green
Over there they're building flats
With workmen wearing bright hard hats
You see that tree beside the spring
Twas on that tree I used to swing
I swung there on a length of rope
When I was a child and full of hope
Never dreaming that there would be
Houses as far as the eyes could see
There's not much more that I can say
Just try to think the modern way
There was a wee man who thought he'd go out in his car
He thought to himself I won't go very far
I could go to some gardens and look at some flowers
I could go to the country and walk round for hours
I could go to the city and do all my shopping
But to go to the shops I'll still end up walking
Oh! the thought of this walking is tiring me
So I think I'll stay in and watch some TV
She stays down in Ayr it's quite far away
That nice little lady what more can I say
All of my life she's been so good to me
I used to go stay with her down by the sea
Her husband was sandy a really nice man
He'd always say visit us just when you can
He was kind and so gentle well he was to me
When I'd go visit them down by the sea
They have sons and daughters and some live nearby
And when I got homesick they'd say Margaret don't cry
She'll always send presents at birthday's and such
I'll phone and I'll tell her I think that's too much
She'll laugh and she'll say Now don't spoil my pleasure
No! she'll never change that's my (AUNTIE BELLA)
HI! There auntie Mary
Happy birthday to you
Thought I'd send you this card
With a verse that's not blue
We think that you're special
Well you are to us
So we thought we would say
Without too much of a fuss
Have a lovely birthday
And a real special day
When you're having a sherry
Don't get carried away
I sit here and wonder how will it be
When the new baby's born and Martin is three
Will it be him or will it be her
Wrapped in long woolly trousers or frillies and fur
It won't really matter if it's a girl or a boy
Everyone here will be jumping for joy
They'll have to buy nappies and booties and bibs
And blankets and sheets to go on the wee crib
What did we do with such a wee wain
We'll have to go practice all over again
It'll be great for Martin to have a wee friend
But for Alison the washing and wiping won't end
I'm sure that this time she will really sail through
For her there is nothing about it that's new
Will there be dimples on it's wee chin
Will there be less down below to tuck in
Will it be quiet or will it be loud
It wont really matter because we'll still be proud
Go To Top
It's Getting Near Christmas Time Ho! Ho! Ho! Ho!
And With Junes Help No More Will I Grow
For The Last Few Weeks I've Stayed Just The Same
And It Isn't Because Puddings My Name
Iv'e Tried And I've Tried With All Of My Might
But When I'm Weighed I Don't Half Get A Fright
Iv'e Cut Out Biscuits And Pastries And Fat
And Even Trained Jim To Say Can You Have That
I Smile And I Say Yes Jim My Dear
Except When I Have My Two Bar Meals A Year
I Know I Have Quite A Few More Stones To Go
But It's Nice Now To Look And See Feet Down Below
Next Christmas I Hope You'll Know Where I'll Be
Beside That Wee Fairy On Top Of The Tree
No More Flannellete Nighties And Gross Things Like That
But Black Floaty Things With Wee Shoestring Straps
No! Don't Think I'm Kidding There's Really No Doubt
Next Year I'll Have Something I Can Shout About
He really is special he's our youngest son
When he was born nothing much could be done
With the cord he was strangled no air could he get
They said he wouldn't last long but wait there's more yet
They said oh! my dear please try not to worry
As they all rushed about in the ward in a hurry
They didn't expect Well! They just didn't know
That into a handsome young man he would grow
They thought he would die, really no one was sure
Or if he'd be a wee boy who's health would be poor
But he's proved them all wrong cause they didn't expect
He's brilliant our son and he's not finished yet
He works with computers and he's brilliant we think
As he's working so hard and is just on the brink
Of making a brilliant career for himself
Yes I'm talking about Ross! You know. Well! Who else!
Isn't it nice to have someone who cares
At the end of the day to have somebody there
Do we just take for granted
The things that they do
Do we think of ourselves
And not think as two
Hello there Father how do you do
I'll write this poem just for you
I think of all the things you did
When I was wee yes just a kid
You made me a bus a buggy a pram
And helped me to grow up just as I am
Made paper gaskets for the car
From you I never wandered far
When we stayed down in Millhall
When off my bike I took a fall
I stuck my shoe between the spokes
Guess what Dad the bike it broke
you used to take me in your car
To places near and places far
You really taught me Oh so well
And taught me how to ribbon spell
I really do appreciate
these precious moments you did take
To teach me all those things to do
No! I don't often say it (DAD I LOVE YOU )
Thank you for being there
Through the years
To share a smile
And wipe away my tears
To love me no matter what
As I Love You
I'm writing a poem just so I can say
I think you are special and not just today
You've always been there when I ask your advice
You've tried to be patient and took time to be nice
If I'd been told to pick a father out of the blue
Well honestly Dad I'd still have picked you
I write these poems about how I feel
Some things silly some things real
Some come quick some come slow
Around my head the thoughts they go
And as my pen it flows away
It says the thoughts I just can't say
Of all the feelings I just hide
The ones just tucked away inside
the words I just could
These feelings never go away
I wish I could say I Love You
But find it hard I really do
She's there to help us every week
Fiona is her name
We're upstairs in the Anchor Inn
And slimming is our game
We all gather young and old
Our aim is to get slim
Eating plenty healthy food
Yet counting every sin
We try so hard Oh! yes we do!
No! trying's a bad word
And if we don't loose any weight
There's the best excuses heard
She's the leader of our gang
What more is there to say
She's gone and won a gold award
Three cheers Hip! Hip! Hooray!
Have you met our Rebecca she really is sweet
She posted her letter to Santa last week
When we went over to visit last night
She was like a wee angel all dressed in white
Oh! Santa's been Nanny look can you see
All the present's he left underneath our big tree
He left me a bath so I could wash dolly
And chocolates and sweets and a big sticky lolly
Some nice cups and saucers so I can make tea
And a thing that makes music can you sing with me
Do you think Mummy told him that I'm nearly three
Because he left the right present's all wrapped up for me
I couldn't sleep Nanny as I lay in my bed
As I listened for Santa's bells over my head
Mummy left the curtains open on Christmas night
Just in case Santa's sleigh came into sight
She said now Rebecca you'd better not peek
Because Santa will know if you're not fast asleep
He's magic you know and he really won't come
If children aren't asleep and I mean everyone
But he did come Nanny I knew that he would
Because Mummy told him I'd been really good
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KAYLEIGH
| K | is for Kayleigh she's smart and she's cute |
| A | is for all she can do |
| Y | is for yes as she always knows all |
| L | is for love we sure do |
| E | is for each of the years of her life |
| I | for intelligence too |
| G | is for gorgeous and she really is |
| H | is for happy not blue |
I'm going to a party I cannot be late
There's me and the gang
And my Daughter In Law Kate
There's lots of good food
And plenty to drink
It'll all disappear in the time you can blink
They all look like ladies
As they all come on in
June will send them home early
Because they make such a din
There won't be much weight lost
Next Wednesday night
But me ( I'm a good girl )
I can stay there all night
I woke up in the morning feeling quite down
I looked in the mirror I was wearing a frown
I thought my granddaughters I'll give them a call
They're two lovely girls one short and one tall
I dialled the number and hoped they were in
I wait for an answer my face starts to grin
HI-LO says her voice in her own special way
I start to laugh she fair makes my day
HI-LO who's speaking she says so polite
She's taking her time so to get the words right
She's not quite three yet only two and a half
With the cute things she says she sure makes me laugh
I know it's you Nanny she say's with such grace
And she starts to laugh saying I know you're funny face
Don't be silly Rebecca my face you can't see
And she laughs and she laughs and squeals out with glee
Do you want me or Mummy she shouts out so loud
She sings out so happy with her voice Oh so proud
Mummy Mummy it's Nanny but I think she want's me
Yes she wants me Rebecca cause I'm nearly three
Can I speak to Mummy or has she gone to town
Wait Nanny! I'll go see and she puts the phone down
I'd like two spel bettir
I'm shur you do two
I keep spellin words rong
Just out of the blew
I look at it twise
And I think is that wright
Orr is it awl rong
Is it two laight at nite
Pepole will think
Is she reely that thik
I think that I'd better use spellcheck
And Quik
Its three years now since Jim's Mum passed away
A lovely wee lady what more can I say
She loved her grandchildren she liked a good laugh
She loved television, the soaps yes not half
She lived near to town and on Tuesdays she would
Go up to town if she felt that she could
She'd sit on a seat in our big Shopping Mall
And she'd speak to some people who sat there. Not all!
She could be so private, she really was nice
We liked to go visit I'd ask her advice
She was wee just like me; she was less than five feet
Her wee legs just dangled when she took a seat
She had lots of memories that she loved to share
What really is sad is, she's no longer here
Oh what happened Dennis?
You're so far away
When you went to Australia
You often would say Ill write to you Margaret
I'd look with face grim
Please don't forget Dennis
You're big brother Jim
The years they soon passed
You forgot about us
But big brother in -law
I just can't catch a bus
And come visit you there
In that place far away
Because in my heart
You'll always stay
Remember us, and please
Don't forget
You're family are here now
On the Internet
KATE MY DAUGHTER IN LAW AND FRIEND
I remember the day I met Alec's Kate
I looked out of the window and down passed the gate
I thought would I like her and would she like me
I thought what does she eat what would I give her for tea
I went into the garden and picked some nice flowers
I tidied and fussed and I polished for hours
He'd told us so much about Kate Alec had
As he sat in the house with just Me and his Dad
I couldn't stand still and I couldn't sit down
The thoughts in my head kept going round and around
I thought of the future and what it would hold
I thought of all the nice stories he'd told
Oh! she's at the door Alec's letting her in
She said Oh! hello and she gave me a grin
Well from that moment on we've been really good friends
But that's not where this story ends
They've been married ten years now and as happy can be
They've bought a new house now and live not far from me
They've two gorgeous wee girls now what more can I say
So when I look back now to that far off day
All I can think of is HIP! HIP! HORRAH!
Dear Mum when you're feeling down and your blue
Just think where I'd be if I didn't have you
I'm sure that you sometimes feel like climbing the wall
Like when I bust up my bike when we stayed in Millhall
Or like when I thought I would paint a big pram
I thought you would kill me but no here I am
When I was in trouble for Mum I would shout
And you'd always be there to bale me right out
I don't often say it but (think) it I do
Oh! Mam Donald I really love you
You worry about everyone that's just your way
That would be allowed if your health didn't pay
You bake and you fuss and you do all you can
And you get a good help from A REALLY NICE MAN
As I sit here and think of the years where they've gone
And I think of the love from your eyes it has shone
I've three boys who think that their Gran is the best
And a Granddaughter who even called her doll Jess
I sit and give thanks to the heavens above
Who sent someone like you here for us all to love
Oh! Jeannie Wee pal I'd just like you to know
That's It's nice if somebody their love they do show
If your feeling down and you're needing cheered up
It's nice for somebody to fill your heart up
With feelings so nice that they make you feel cosy
And make a dull day turn out oh so rosy
OH! Jean don't feel down and please know that I care
It makes me feel better just to know that you're there
So look on the bright side
And change how you feel
Wont it be just brilliant
When we meet at the Wheel
(Falkirk That Is)
As I lie on the grass
In the heat of the day
I look up to the sky
And to God I do pray
Why do all of these people
Get themselves in a tiz
And say to all nations
That's mine and that's his
Why can't all of us here
Just try to be friends
And stop all this nonsense
Before this world ends
I've found a group and it's called Ciao
I thought they'd all be snotty cows
Their such nice people you'd never guess
They cheer me up when I'm depressed
There's Chrissie Pat and oor wee Jean
There's Vicky and there's Blobbyqueen
Remember all ? Don't think I can
Me? well I'm just called Weemam
There's Ops so sad they bring the tears
I feel I've been friends with some for years
I wrote poems that I thought not good
But now I think I maybe should
Write some more, some maybe funny
Turn someones day from drab to sunny
Love to all Margaret
Don't take for granted the things that you do
There are lots of people less fortunate than you
Just count your blessings accept what you are
With some positive thoughts you can go really far
So don't be dissuaded and don't get depressed
You're trying so hard! You can just do your best
We're all made quite different I'm sure that you know
And the more that you try you're confidence will grow
After all the hard work you have done through the years
Your life should be happy and not filled with tears
He's lying there lovely and cosy and warm
It's just a few hours since you're baby was born
His eyes are tight shut and he just couldn't care
Why all of these people they just stand and stare
You're thinking what will he be like in some years
You're heart it beats faster your eyes fill with tears
After nine months of tossing and turning at night
It's such a relief to know he's all right
You can't take your eyes off your handsome new son
Not realising your worries have only begun
Look at him sitting there isn't he great
He's eaten every little bit clean off his plate
He looks up and grins you can't help but smile
Doesn't he make your life seem so worthwhile
You go put your coat on take him for a walk
He just runs about you laugh and you talk
There's some kids by the water
He wants to join in
No! come here you call
Just trying to stop him drives you round the bend
He's so full of nonsense your four legged friend
The papers are paid the milk has been stopped
Got things last minute down at the shops
Locked the windows closed the blinds
No descent clothes are left behind
Some baby wipes to freshen my face
And loads of spare undies just in case
I've checked the tickets once or twice
Packed perfume so that I'll smell nice
These plans I've made for many weeks
To go sunbathing on some beach
I'll check the tickets yet again
I've got some sweeties for the plane
Peep! Peep! The taxi's at the door
Too much trouble I'll go no more
The holidays are here again
Too much worry too much strain
And yet I know I'll go again
I'm going to have an operation
My bed's beside the nurses station
I'm in beside our Sue and Wilma
And lying on our beds so firma
We pass the time by having a laugh
And chatting to the friendly staff
It really matters if you're stout
Because in paper gowns your bum sticks out
Last night as we were trying to sleep
Around the ward the nurse would creep
She said get up please! Have a shower
Your tea will be in half an hour
Oh! sorry dear we quite forgot
You cannot have some tea that's hot
You'll soon be taken down the stairs
So as for breakfast just you dare
Go To Top
Have you not heard of C & M
Please then tell me why
They're right there on the Internet
So please give them a try
The music is so different
It just touches the heart
And if you wondering why this is
Where then will I start
The music's different its divine
It's so ethereal
There's music for relaxing too
And Scottish ones as well
It's not for me to tell you more
You just log in and hear the score to
www.coxandmckeever.co.uk
I wish I were clever
Yes! Just really smart
I'd like to write books
And talk about art
I'd like to talk politics
And feel that I'm right
Take conversations way into the night
I'd like to feel confident in all that I do
Are you really clever
Or would you like that too
Do you believe in someone
That someone up above
That sent down his son Jesus
Who taught us all to love
He taught us to know right from wrong
He taught us what to do
I try my best to follow him
I hope that you do to
I feel great I feel great
Now there's less on my plate
Yes I've done it mum
There's less fat in my bum
At the start it was hard
God that's my weight on that card
Please don't let anyone see
That that weight there was me
KATE & ALEC'S NEW HOUSE
Here's wishing you a happy house
With neither spider or wee mouse
With springy carpets and curtains new
There's no one happier than you two
You've worked so hard and we're so proud
But we don't want to shout too loud
So have a really happy life
With your two gorgeous girls
And your lovely wife
Ive started to mark with my lucky blue pen
I'll have a quick go on the lottery again
I sit and I dream of what I would do
If a win from the lottery came out of the blue
I'd go buy my Father a spanking new car
And an atlas so Mum would know where they are
For Alec I'd buy some new gear for his bike
And a car and some books and whatever he'd like
Now for young Jim what could I do
I'd buy him two cars that were brand spanking new
In a clean car Jim likes to be seen
So if one got all dirty the other would be clean
For Ross there's no problem of what I could get
C'Ds or videos boxed or in sets
For Dad (that's Jim) I don't have to look far
I'd buy him a book shop or the Borestone Bar
If there's someone special
Tell them that you care
Because when comes tomorrow
They just might not be there
Don't leave until tomorrow
What can be said today
You just put your arms around them
And this is what you say
I hope you know I love you
I just want you to know
So please don't feel embarrassed
If your feelings you do show
Please stop and think
Because as we get old
We don't always remember
The things we are told
We remember the stories
Of times that have passed
And especially the good things
As we want them to last
But something you said at the start of the day
Oh! What was that?
What did you say?
You really don't want me
To store every thought
There must be some things
Even you have forgot
Where did I come from?
Where did I go?
I'm getting upset
As my brain it's too slow
I was a Mum with two kids on the go
I'm here in this home now
Don't know who I am
Don't know if my name is
Mary or Nan
But please do remember
And please always care
As the person I was
Is still in here somewhere
Here's wishing you a happy house
With neither spider or wee mouse
With springy carpets and curtains new
There's no one happier than you two
You've worked so hard and we're so proud
But we don't want to shout too loud
So have a really happy life
With your two gorgeous girls
And your lovely wife
Ive started to mark with my lucky blue pen
I'll have a quick go on the lottery again
I sit and I dream of what I would do
If a win from the lottery came out of the blue
I'd go buy my Father a spanking new car
And an atlas so Mum would know where they are
For Alec I'd buy some new gear for his bike
And a car and some books and whatever he'd like
Now for young Jim what could I do
I'd buy him two cars that were brand spanking new
In a clean car Jim likes to be seen
So if one got all dirty the other would be clean
For Ross there's no problem of what I could get
C'Ds or videos boxed or in sets
For Dad (that's Jim) I don't have to look far
I'd buy him a book shop or the Borestone Bar
If there's someone special
Tell them that you care
Because when comes tomorrow
They just might not be there
Don't leave until tomorrow
What can be said today
You just put your arms around them
And this is what you say
I hope you know I love you
I just want you to know
So please don't feel embarrassed
If your feelings you do show
Wouldn't it be nice not to have worries
Not rushing through life in such a great hurry
I'll have to this I'll have to do that
Must feed the Dog and put out the Cat
Where did I put those stupid Car keys
Will I wear a jacket there's a bit of a breeze
Oh! whereas my list
Left back there on the table
I'd go all the way back but I don't think I'm able
I'll go round to Mum's she'll make Me some tea
I think the only one rushing around here is ME
Go to Top
You're poetry Pal should just be for you
Comes into your head like a bolt from the blue
Write down your secrets whether sad ones on not
Or even some memories you've maybe forgot
It just doesn't matter who thinks they're bad or good
Just to write down hour feelings
Should make (YOU) feel good
There's a wee girl called Kayleigh
She's bright as a star
So don't try to fool her
Because you wont get far
Well she's always been bright
Well we always thought
Since she got a screwdriver
To dismantle her cot
There was a wee hiccup
When she went to school
But Kayleigh soon fixed it
She's not a fool
With a face like an angel
And a dazzling smile
She's our Granddaughter
And makes life worthwhile
There's two wee girls we love to see
One called Rebecca and one Kayleigh
They're two wee smashers well we think so
It's great to see them thrive and grow
Rebecca she's a cutie she has a cheeky smile
Kayleigh she's the smart one
They really make our life worthwhile
It doesn't last if we feel blue
We just think of our precious two
They're two of the blessings we can count
SSH! They're sleeping please don't shout
There two little boys who live not very far
If I gave you two guesses you'd know who they are
They're my two wee Grandsons called Martin and Ryan
Ryan was weeks old before we heard him crying
He's dark and he's handsome and he's started to smile
One wee cuddle from him makes life seem so worthwhile
Martin is three now he's ever so bright
When you ask him a question he's Oh! so polite
He knows all his colours and he can count too
His eyes are dark brown and his brothers are blue
I hope Jim and Alison both realise
That in having these boys they won the top prize
It's Wednesday night again what can I wear
That skirt and jumper No! I wouldn't dare
They weigh far too heavy I'd get a fright
I'll just wear that dress it's nice and it's light
Will I wear a waistcoat I've started to frown
Will it cover my bum if I have to bend down
Will I drive will I walk No! I might be late
It wont really matter I'll lose some more weight
I climb up the stairs I'm holding my breath
I get to the top I'm scared half to death
I hope I've lost weight I really do try
If I haven't lost any I think I might die
I stand on the scales June looks up at me
My stomach it rumbles I should have had tea
You've lost two more pounds June says with a smile
Oh! Isn't life great it's all been worthwhile
K ayleigh Curran is 9 today
A lways pretty always gay
Y es always a smile never a frown
L ooks just like her Dad with her eyes so brown
E very week she comes to visit
I n her mam and daddies car
G rowing up so very quickly
H ope she never wanders far
There is a wee girl we look after today
We think what will she do what will she say
She really looks lovely what do you think
She's a right wee tomboy but gorgeous in pink
She looks at his picture and yells out there's ROSS-IE
Then she sits on Kates foot and want's to play Horsie
But horsies no fun if we don't shout look see
So she asks for a cuddle and climbs on your knee
She gets out her book points and shouts look
She points her wee finger at Teddy and Cat
She flashes a smile when you say don't touch that
She looks at his picture and Papa she'll say
And when Papa sees her it just makes his day
She wakes up in the morning and flashes that smile
And if Kate tried to catch she'd run for a mile
So if you want your worries to just fade away
Just visit our R-E-B-E-C-C-A
It seems like a very long time ago
I'll tell you this story just so you'll know
I was almost 38 you see
When something fantastic happened to me
I had another little boy
His dad and I we jumped for joy
There was no crying I was worried
Around the ward the nurses hurried
There must be a problem time slowly passed
I held my breath too scared to ask
They put him in an incubator
We got to see him much much later
We sat beside him many days
we sat and looked and we just prayed
our prayers were answered
I'm glad to say
We've watched him growing day by day
He's 15 now nice in every way
He still has problems Oh! Yes he does
But he still means the world to us
I ask you dad please take care
Or my Mum she won't be long there
She doesn't always know where you go
But she enjoys it better if you go slow
You can go slow you know you can
Or going out my mam she'll ban
If you'd only drive under 62
I'm sure my mam would love it too
You'd both be having much more fun
If you went out driving with a happy mum
Here I sit full of woe
From the top of my head to the tips of my toes
I sit and watch the TV ad's
And laugh at the fashions and the fads
Oh! if I were only tall and slim
And only had the occasional sin
I could look like all the models do
Instead of an Elephant at the zoo
It really is quite hard to do
Well here I go I'll start again
I'll close my mouth and count to ten
Try not to picture in my mind
Sweets and cakes of every kind
I'll try to think of lettuce leaves
And not hide sweeties up my sleeves
Or try to steal the kids ice cream
It's really hard Oh! I could scream
Should I try as hard as hard can be
Or just relax and just be me
We have a wee grandson
And Martin's his name
And whenever we see him
He's always the same
He laughs and he chuckles
And he always smiles
And he really makes life seem Oh! So worthwhile
He's got a front tooth now
He's a handsome wee boy
Say's our Jim and Alison
He's their pride and joy
He's going to be christened
Now isn't that great
We're all going to be there
On that special date
A minute on your lips, a lifetime on your hips
Don't you think girls, we need more of these tips
Take the fat off your meat, and you will stay neat
Too many sweets on your tongue , will put fat on your bum
If you want to stay neat, walk some more with your feet
Why not ask June what you can do!
So you won't end up weighing as two
So give this some thought, and then you'll maybe not
Eat the things that are bad ,Then you wont be sad
Then you'll give us a smile, say it's all been worthwhile
If you really do care and want people to stare
At the new slim line you , Well! You Know What To DO
Two very special people were put upon this earth
Two very special people protected me since birth
Forgot about their worries and forgot about their pain
And made my world all sunshine instead of misty rain
They've been special to each other as the years have rolled away
But I want to say THEY ARE special on this very special day
When you look in the mirror do you get a fright
Then please come and join us on Wednesday night
It's upstairs from the pub but that doesn't matter
You'll get lots of help and some really good patter
You'll stand on the scales you'll weigh minus or plus
It's usually minus but we don't make a fuss
Were here to encourage it's really quite good
If you stay a bit late there's advice about food
So please think about it it's never too late
There's lots of good food you can have on your plate
Well if you'd like to try it what have you to loose
Less pounds on your body less wear on your shoes
There was a wee man from Dunbar
Who went for a drive in his car
He went fast down a hill
Said Oh! boy what a thrill
I think now I need a wee jar
So please don't drink and drive
In this world you won't stay long alive
If you make a mistak-ah
And you don't hit the brake-ah
I'm sorry but you'll not survive
You will be dead not alive
I try to be nice I try to be kind
Then when I'm not looking I'm kicked from behind
Put in the wrong petrol the boot it wont lock
I broke the car heater and more I've forgot
I tried to put software in Ross's PC
Would it install? No! it wouldn't for me
Sat on the toilet for most of the night
Please God I cant stand it no more frights tonight
Ross says don't worry it just doesn't matter
I cry and I say Ross don't start you're patter
I try not to worry my face red with rage
Me! Try a computer so daft at my age
I had to ask Alec if he'd have a go
He tried and he tried and I shouted Oh! No!
I'm sure that my eldest had much more to do
Than to help his daft mother her face turning blue
Come on then please tell me What! Can! I! Do!
I took the computer back to the shop
It's not very far just a skip and a hop
They said now misses Please don't get upset
There isn't a computer we haven't fixed yet
I came home to the house and tried not to worry
I don't think I'll fetch it in too much of a hurry
When I was young my dad he would say
Wouldn't it be nice to be carried away
On an angel's wing to the heavens above
Where we could talk to the people we once loved
In a beautiful field all covered in flowers
We'd laugh and we'd dance and we'd all talk for hours
We'd tell each other stories of things that we'd done
As we lay on our backs in the glorious sun
When we grew tired I'm sure that we'd know
It was time to go back to the people below
And then we'd think.
Was it all as it seemed
Or do you think
It was only a dream
Why co I worry I don't know
All of these wrinkles they really do show
The gears of the car the switch on the fire
I can't seem to get far my brain is so tired
The Hoover its broken the carpet's not clean
The grass it needs cut I've never seen it so green
Why do these things only happen to me
Where will I go Where should I be
Will I get a duster and get rid of the dust
Or will I go back to bed I think that I must
When he was born there was grief and joy
We'd waited for our little boy
We were older than most Mums and Dads
For two older boys we already had
The doctors said please be prepared
He will have some problems through the years
Oh! dear the worries and the fears
Now sixteen years have come and gone
And we have got a handsome son
He attends our local school
And proved to us that he's no fool
He studies hard and goes to town
And always has us running around
He has a handsome smile and cheeky grin
And we both think the world of him
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